Again, But Better by Christine Riccio

Once upon a time there was a girl named Lindsay who was smiled down upon by the ARC gods and received this (signed!) beauty. And by ARC gods I mean arcfortrade, because we all know I’m not important enough to get ARCs any other way, BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER BECAUSE I HAVE THIS BEAUTY NOW *evil laughter* For real though, friends, I DEVOURED this book. Like, hiding under my blankets like a gremlin, refusing to emerge for food or showers or finals because I needed Christine’s debut more than I needed to be a person, and let me tell you, it was worth it.

20 year old Shane Primaveri is ready for a change. She’s done college all wrong so far—no real friends, no major she’s passionate about, no boyfriend—and so she sets out to study abroad in London during her junior year, determined to start over, make some lasting friendships, write her great American novel, and maybe even fall in love…

I was so nervous opening this book—more nervous than I’ve been for a book in a long time. I’m a huge fan of Christine’s channel and have been watching her work so hard on this book. But with a cast of memorable characters, hilarious banter, and quippy dialogue, I had nothing to be nervous about. Again, but Better is one of those books that makes you feel warm and gooey on the inside, not unlike eating a chocolate chip cookie straight from the oven, and I found myself smiling like an idiot while reading (really messing with my heartless, gremlin vibe).

Characters were definitely the strongest part of the novel. The banter and development of relationships flowed really well, and I just really want to be a part of their study abroad squad, okay??? But I’m definitely not witty enough, so I guess I’ll just stay here and cry.

Shane:
Our main character and not at all fearless traveler whose Lost and Davinci Code references went right over my head. I really loved Shane and saw so much of myself in her—except she’s funnier and has better hair. Her journey of reinvention was so relatable, especially when she wants to try to be more outgoing instead of resorting to her comfort zone. Did she seem a little self-insert for Christine? I mean, the girl wants to be a writer, keeps diaries she refers to as her horcruxes, and has a blog called Frenchwatermelon19, but I love Christine and it’s a debut and a contemporary, so you know what, I’m not mad about it.

Pilot:
Yes, like the plane or of a television series. Pilot is like if Etienne St. Clair from Anna and the French Kiss hadn’t been the absolute worst to his girlfriend, and while I appreciate it, there were also too many “ho don’t do it” moments for me to add him to the *very* exclusive fictional boyfriend list.HOWEVER, he did experience great character development, especially in the, let’s call it, again, but better (YES, I KNOW I AM BEING A TEASE) part of the book.

Do any of the other characters really matter? Nah.

My biggest issue with this book was the pacing. It was like a first date, going really well at first, but then you hit that part when things get ~weird~ and you’re sort of confused how things spiraled so quickly, but then you go home, take a bath, think about it, and go “ohhhhhhhh.” It almost felt as though parts one and two of the book could’ve (and should’ve) been standalone novels, because while the character and story arcs were completed, it wasn’t the smoothest of rides and I’m still not sure how we got there.

I don’t want to say too much about the plot itself because it’s still a new (and highly anticipated) release, but I will there is a plot twist that I’m still not sure how I feel about. My thoughts can best be described as “oh no, what’s happening, I’m uncomfortable, oh no, holy High King Cardan this is not what I signed up for. Oh no, I think I might like this? I like the results of this, but I don’t like this. High King Cardan help.”

Overall, I’m still going to keep with my chocolate chip cookie analogy—I laughed, I felt the warm fuzzies, I smiled, and I wanted more. I can’t wait to see where Christine’s writing career goes from here, and I’ll certainly be reading the next project she blesses us peasants with!

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Always and Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han

1.)  To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before ★★★★
2.)  P.S. I Still Love You ★★★

“One day all of this will be proof, proof that we were here, proof that we loved each other. It’s the guarantee that no matter what happens to us in the future, this time was ours.” 

Some books just give you that warm and fuzzy feeling that has you crying happy tears almost every page. Well, that’s this book. I feel an intense need to redo high school because I’m having some serious regret about never writing love letters and having them sent out into the world (where can I find my Peter Kavinsky???) But in all seriousness, this book still maintained the same sweet, fun, and lightheartedness that made me fall in love with the series, while also tackling real life themes of choosing a school, the uncertainty of the future post-high school, and saying goodbye that most YA stays away from.

Lara Jean and Peter are in the midst of senior year—a year of uncertainty about the future, of goodbyes, of last chances, and of change. But Lara Jean doesn’t like change. So what should she do when the future she’s always imagined for herself suddenly isn’t a possibility and the two paths laid out before her will require she follow either her head or her heart?

“I guess that’s part of growing up, too—saying goodbye to the things you used to love.”

I’m way past my high school days, but this book took me back to my senior year, and now we’re going to get personal for a second so I can tell you why this book resonated with me so much. I always thought I was going to pursue musical theatre (for some reason high school Lindsay thought she was talented enough to make it on Broadway) and when I say pursue, I mean working on audition songs and monologues with my vocal and acting coach and only looking at BFA programs. But I realized in the fall of my senior year that I simply wasn’t talented enough, and it wasn’t going to work out. Every school I’d looked at and planned on applying to was geared toward musical theatre—there were no backup options, or at least there were none I actually wanted to go to. Except one. But it was also a reach school. I applied early decision, having fallen in love when I visited and just had that gut feeling it was the school for me. I didn’t get in. I’d gone from being certain about everything to certain about nothing. I was more scared and anxious about my future than I’d ever been, and like Lara Jean, I don’t do well with change or uncertainty.

Reading Always and Forever Lara Jean now made me wish I’d had it with me when I was going through my senior year, because Jenny Han is able to capture the fear and uncertainty of not knowing what your future holds, the teenage need to romanticize and perfect our last moments of high school, and yet also the magic of having all these possibilities up for the taking, if you follow your heart and are brave enough to take them.

“Never say no when you really want to say yes.”

Always and Forever Lara Jean managed to recapture everything I loved about To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (yes, including Lara Jean and Peter’s relationship) while adding a maturity to it that the first two books lacked. Lara Jean is growing up, she has grown up, and her story will forever hold a very special place in my heart, but this book especially.

“At college, when people ask us how we met, how will we answer them? The short story is, we grew up together. But that’s more Josh’s and my story. High school sweet-hearts? That’s Peter and Gen’s story. So what’s ours, then? I suppose I’ll say it all started with a love letter.”

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P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

1.)  To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before ★★★★

“Let’s go all in. No more contract. No more safety net. You can break my heart. Do whatever you want with it.”

Fun, charming, and heart-felt, P.S. I Still Love You takes place right after the events of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before with Lara Jean trying to clean up the mess she’s made with Peter and attempt the relationship for real. I flew through this book almost as quickly as I did To All the Boys, and I wish I could also say I was just as entranced, but unfortunately, this book had a lot of problems.

Lara Jean’s immaturity lacked the same true-to-life feel it had in the first book, and I frequently found myself upset with both her and Peter. They both told lies of omission and said/did things that honestly made me uncomfortable. There was some resolution in the end, but not enough to ease my discomfort heading into Always and Forever, Lara Jean.

I was also very upset with the inclusion of the love triangle. It honestly wasn’t needed, and it felt as though this character only served as a foil to Peter as opposed to adding to Lara Jean’s story. I didn’t like how perfect this character was made to be, especially because his good qualities only served to highlight Peter’s flaws. A good love triangle is meant to be dynamic and compelling on all sides, but this triangle fell flat and felt very forced by the author.

“I don’t think it was our time then. I guess it isn’t now, either. But one day maybe it will be.”

Honestly, my favorite part of this story was the family dynamics. In my review of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before I talked about how nice it was to see the inclusion of the family in a YA novel, and those dynamics were only explored more deeply in this book. I loved Kitty and Lara Jean’s relationship and how much they act how real sisters do, and I really appreciated how much more fleshed out Lara Jean and Margot’s relationship was with them behaving more as equals as opposed to Lara Jean a child and Margot her surrogate mother. Daniel Covey is such a great father and I was really pleased to see him, his personal life, and his relationships with the girls play a more prominent role in this book!

One thing I do really want to talk about is how much the conversation about and attitude towards sex changed in this book. One of my biggest complaints with To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before was the sex-negative undertones, but I was SO happy to see sex talked about in a positive way in this book. P.S. I Still Love You has a lot of conversations about sex between Lara Jean and various people in her life, and thankfully it was handled in a much more mature and open way than it was in To All the Boys. I think Jenny Han did a fantastic job of creating a sex-positive dialogue that is still age appropriate for the younger YA readers.

“In memory, everything seems to happen to music.”

Overall I did enjoy P.S. I Still Love You, and it was as un-put-downable as To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, but it was just lacking that same magic I found in the first book. I’m definitely going to read Always and Forever, Lara Jean, and I hope the aspects I found troubling about the relationship will be fully resolved in the third book!

“You have to let yourself be fully present in every moment. Just be awake for it, do you know what I mean? Go all in and wring every last drop out of the experience.”

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To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han

“When I write, I hold nothing back. I write like he’ll never read it. Because he never will. Every secret thought, every careful observation, everything I’ve saved up inside me, I put it all in the letter. When I’m done, I seal it, I address it, and then I put it in my teal hatbox.”

I absolutely loved this fun, heartwarming, adorable book! Lara Jean writes a letter to every boy she’s loved—signed, sealed, and addressed, these letters are how she says goodbye and is finally able to move on from these boys. But when Lara Jean’s letters are sent out, her entire world is turned on its head because one of the boys she’s loved is her best friend, Josh, the boy-next-door who also happens to be her sister’s ex-boyfriend.

“How was I supposed to know what’s real and what’s not? It feels like I’m the only one who doesn’t know the difference.” 

Lara Jean brought me back to high school, to the days I felt invisible, where schoolgirl crushes were true love, and when petty drama was life altering. I’ve shied away from contemporary these past few years, but there is just something special about this book. Jenny Han just gets it. She understands the teen angst, the self-discovery, the importance of firsts, how monumental everything feels, the intensity, and the confusion. She gets teens in a way a lot of YA authors don’t.

The characters in this book were so true to life, and yes, Lara Jean is selfish and immature at times, but what teenager isn’t? And she doesn’t handle everything thrown at her in the best way, but what teenager does? I love her because of her imperfections, because she is a teenager who acts, thinks, and speaks like a teenager—something I’ve found lacking in a lot of contemporaries.

“It’s not like in the movies. It’s better, because it’s real.” 

I can’t talk about this book without talking about the love triangle. I’m a sucker for the fake dating trope and I found myself giggling, blushing, and on the edge of my seat waiting to see if they’d fall for each other, if a love triangle would play out, and if so, how it’d resolve itself. I’m not going to spoil anything because the romance and the drama in this book are delicious, but that ending was cruel, and I need the sequel, P.S. I Still Love You now!!!

The other thing I love about this book is how present Lara Jean’s family is. So often in YA family dynamics are pushed to the side, but Lara Jean’s home life is integral to the story. Her home life and personal lives intersect all the time, and while I didn’t necessarily like the fact that so much of this book relies on Lara Jean previously having a crush on her sister’s ex, I thought it was handled very well, and throughout the book, it is constantly reinforced that sisters come first.

The one thing that didn’t sit well with me and is why I can’t give this book 5 stars is the handling of sex. Lara Jean treats sex as though it is something morally wrong unless it is with someone you love or are married to, and she straddles the line between conservative and full on slut-shaming too often for my personal taste. I think it is so important to have sex-positive books like Laura Stevens’ The Exact Opposite of Okay and I like that we have a sex positive character like Chris, but she is still looked down upon and treated like the train-wreck character. I get this book was published four years ago and there’s been a huge shift in how we talk about sex in YA, but I don’t feel right giving this book 5 stars when I’m a huge advocate for talking about sex positively in YA.

“Love is scary: it changes; it can go away. That’s part of the risk.” 

Overall, I am so happy I finally picked up this book and am even more excited for the Netflix movie now! I finished this book in one day and am dying to get my hands on the sequel. THAT ENDING. Even if you’re a contemporary skeptic like me, I definitely recommend picking up this book!

“My letters are for when I don’t want to be in love anymore. They’re for good-bye. Because after I write in my letter, I’m no longer consumed by my all-consuming love…My letters set me free. Or at least they’re supposed to.”

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