Always and Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han

1.)  To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before ★★★★
2.)  P.S. I Still Love You ★★★

“One day all of this will be proof, proof that we were here, proof that we loved each other. It’s the guarantee that no matter what happens to us in the future, this time was ours.” 

Some books just give you that warm and fuzzy feeling that has you crying happy tears almost every page. Well, that’s this book. I feel an intense need to redo high school because I’m having some serious regret about never writing love letters and having them sent out into the world (where can I find my Peter Kavinsky???) But in all seriousness, this book still maintained the same sweet, fun, and lightheartedness that made me fall in love with the series, while also tackling real life themes of choosing a school, the uncertainty of the future post-high school, and saying goodbye that most YA stays away from.

Lara Jean and Peter are in the midst of senior year—a year of uncertainty about the future, of goodbyes, of last chances, and of change. But Lara Jean doesn’t like change. So what should she do when the future she’s always imagined for herself suddenly isn’t a possibility and the two paths laid out before her will require she follow either her head or her heart?

“I guess that’s part of growing up, too—saying goodbye to the things you used to love.”

I’m way past my high school days, but this book took me back to my senior year, and now we’re going to get personal for a second so I can tell you why this book resonated with me so much. I always thought I was going to pursue musical theatre (for some reason high school Lindsay thought she was talented enough to make it on Broadway) and when I say pursue, I mean working on audition songs and monologues with my vocal and acting coach and only looking at BFA programs. But I realized in the fall of my senior year that I simply wasn’t talented enough, and it wasn’t going to work out. Every school I’d looked at and planned on applying to was geared toward musical theatre—there were no backup options, or at least there were none I actually wanted to go to. Except one. But it was also a reach school. I applied early decision, having fallen in love when I visited and just had that gut feeling it was the school for me. I didn’t get in. I’d gone from being certain about everything to certain about nothing. I was more scared and anxious about my future than I’d ever been, and like Lara Jean, I don’t do well with change or uncertainty.

Reading Always and Forever Lara Jean now made me wish I’d had it with me when I was going through my senior year, because Jenny Han is able to capture the fear and uncertainty of not knowing what your future holds, the teenage need to romanticize and perfect our last moments of high school, and yet also the magic of having all these possibilities up for the taking, if you follow your heart and are brave enough to take them.

“Never say no when you really want to say yes.”

Always and Forever Lara Jean managed to recapture everything I loved about To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (yes, including Lara Jean and Peter’s relationship) while adding a maturity to it that the first two books lacked. Lara Jean is growing up, she has grown up, and her story will forever hold a very special place in my heart, but this book especially.

“At college, when people ask us how we met, how will we answer them? The short story is, we grew up together. But that’s more Josh’s and my story. High school sweet-hearts? That’s Peter and Gen’s story. So what’s ours, then? I suppose I’ll say it all started with a love letter.”

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P.S. I Still Love You by Jenny Han

1.)  To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before ★★★★

“Let’s go all in. No more contract. No more safety net. You can break my heart. Do whatever you want with it.”

Fun, charming, and heart-felt, P.S. I Still Love You takes place right after the events of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before with Lara Jean trying to clean up the mess she’s made with Peter and attempt the relationship for real. I flew through this book almost as quickly as I did To All the Boys, and I wish I could also say I was just as entranced, but unfortunately, this book had a lot of problems.

Lara Jean’s immaturity lacked the same true-to-life feel it had in the first book, and I frequently found myself upset with both her and Peter. They both told lies of omission and said/did things that honestly made me uncomfortable. There was some resolution in the end, but not enough to ease my discomfort heading into Always and Forever, Lara Jean.

I was also very upset with the inclusion of the love triangle. It honestly wasn’t needed, and it felt as though this character only served as a foil to Peter as opposed to adding to Lara Jean’s story. I didn’t like how perfect this character was made to be, especially because his good qualities only served to highlight Peter’s flaws. A good love triangle is meant to be dynamic and compelling on all sides, but this triangle fell flat and felt very forced by the author.

“I don’t think it was our time then. I guess it isn’t now, either. But one day maybe it will be.”

Honestly, my favorite part of this story was the family dynamics. In my review of To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before I talked about how nice it was to see the inclusion of the family in a YA novel, and those dynamics were only explored more deeply in this book. I loved Kitty and Lara Jean’s relationship and how much they act how real sisters do, and I really appreciated how much more fleshed out Lara Jean and Margot’s relationship was with them behaving more as equals as opposed to Lara Jean a child and Margot her surrogate mother. Daniel Covey is such a great father and I was really pleased to see him, his personal life, and his relationships with the girls play a more prominent role in this book!

One thing I do really want to talk about is how much the conversation about and attitude towards sex changed in this book. One of my biggest complaints with To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before was the sex-negative undertones, but I was SO happy to see sex talked about in a positive way in this book. P.S. I Still Love You has a lot of conversations about sex between Lara Jean and various people in her life, and thankfully it was handled in a much more mature and open way than it was in To All the Boys. I think Jenny Han did a fantastic job of creating a sex-positive dialogue that is still age appropriate for the younger YA readers.

“In memory, everything seems to happen to music.”

Overall I did enjoy P.S. I Still Love You, and it was as un-put-downable as To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, but it was just lacking that same magic I found in the first book. I’m definitely going to read Always and Forever, Lara Jean, and I hope the aspects I found troubling about the relationship will be fully resolved in the third book!

“You have to let yourself be fully present in every moment. Just be awake for it, do you know what I mean? Go all in and wring every last drop out of the experience.”

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An Ember in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir

“Life is made of so many moments that mean nothing. Then one day, a single moment comes along to define every second that comes after. Such moments are tests of courage, of strength.”

Harrowing. Breath taking. Heart wrenching. Beautiful. An Ember in the Ashes is Sabaa Tahir’s debut novel about a slave, Laia and a soldier, Elias. Both of them belong to the Empire and neither of them is free.

“All the beauty of the stars means nothing when life here on earth is so ugly.”

An Ember in the Ashes is a haunting story about what it means to be free, how far people can be pushed, what it means to lose our humanity, and the power of fighting back in an brutally ugly world.

Laia begins as a meek character, very much unlike the callous female assassins we’re now used to seeing in YA, and I loved it. Throughout the book, Laia grows into such a brave character who’d rather die fighting for her loved ones than run away and see them hurt. She has one of the strongest character arcs I’ve seen in YA. Her fear is something readers will be able to connect with, and her spirit, resilience, and determination will inspire them.

Our other main character, Elias, is one of the most beautifully written and complex male characters I’ve ever encountered. Elias, from the beginning, does not support the Empire, but is forced to be a soldier and defend its corrupt and inhumane ways. Like Laia, he is not free. But, Elias constantly has to hide from the people he loves because he is a martial and expected to not only support, but to also continue and enforce the ways of the Empire. Elias’ anger, sadness, powerlessness, and then resistance was heart aching to read, and he was by far my favorite character in this book.

“The field of battle is my temple. The swordpoint is my priest. The dance of death is my prayer. The killing blow is my release.”

I don’t have enough words of praise for this masterpiece that Sabaa Tahir has created. I felt every emotion ranging from anger, sadness, hope, fear, and happiness. This world is cruel and unforgiving, our characters are so heartbreakingly real, and their story is sweeping and much bigger than any of them can imagine.

Thank you Sabaa Tahir for writing this book and for sharing these characters, their world, and their story.

“You are an ember in the ashes, Elias Veturius. You will spark and burn, ravage and destroy. You cannot change it. You cannot stop it.”

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Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

“I won’t let your ignorance silence my pain”

WOW. I don’t normally find myself at a loss for words after a book, but Children of Blood and Bone has left me speechless. This is a book that will take you on a wild ride and shake you down to your core, making sure you feel every emotion possible. I laughed, I raged, I grieved, and I loved every moment of it.

“Reality told us we would fail. But again and again, we fought. We persevered. We rose.”

Featuring an entirely non-white cast (YASSS!!!) Children of Blood and Bone follows Zélie as she fights to bring magic back to her people after it was taken by the king who killed her mother. Told from three different perspectives, CBB follows Zélie, Amari, and Inan.

Zélie has been oppressed and beaten down by the royal regime her entire life because she is a diviner—a person with the potential to become a Maji, someone with the gift of magic—and she is an angry and fierce warrior who has experienced so much grief and trauma. She has been chosen by the gods to bring magic back to Orïsha. Amari is a princess whose best friend was a diviner. She turns her back on everything her father has taught her about the Maji in order to aid Zélie in her quest to bring magic back to Orïsha. Our third POV is actually the antagonist, Inan, Amari’s older brother and the crown prince of Orïsha, who is determined to prevent magic from coming back.

“It doesn’t matter how strong I get, how much power my magic wields. They will always hate me in this world.”

I don’t know how Tomi Adeyemi did it, but CBB is an incredible story. Fast-paced. Heart-wrenching. Beautiful. Children of Blood and Bone is the best YA debut fantasy on the market. Adeymi did an amazing job of not only writing an amazing and harrowing story, but also one that is relevant and speaks to larger issues in our society. I was angry with the world Zélie lived in and all of the hate, trauma, and oppression she endured—a world that holds up a mirror to our own. It is worth reading Adeyemi’s author’s note at the end of the book where she discusses her inspirations for CBB.

“As long as we don’t have magic, they will never treat us with respect. They need to know we can hit them back. If they burn our homes, we burn theirs, too.” 

I adored Zélie’s character and her transformation of learning how to channel her anger and grief and conquer her fears in order to become the leader her people need. Tzain, her brother, is perfect and his love, strength, and loyalty broke my heart over and over again. Amari experienced such beautiful growth throughout the book, transforming from a timid girl and to a brave one, unafraid to stand up to a world of hatred. The one character I wasn’t crazy about was Inan. There were times when I sympathized with him and really enjoyed having him as a POV, but I felt as though a lot of his thoughts and actions didn’t make sense and were tailored more so to fit the plot than his character.

“The gods don’t make mistakes.”

Children of Blood and Bone is a chilling, powerful, emotional, and stunning story that everyone needs to read. There is a reason why this is the book that is taking over the world. Read it, savor it, love it, and shout about this book until everyone you know has read it. Thank you Tomi Adeyemi for giving this story to the world and for revolutionizing YA fantasy.

“Courage does not always roar. Valor does not always shine.”

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